Sensory Overload and missing my cats

Sometimes, it is good to just shut everything down. Grok, the noises, the videos, the chats, and just listen to... what? Silence? I usually have several things going at once. Part of the new way to exist, being everything always and all that. Like right now, I-m writing this, at the shelter's dining room, listening to a YT video. Why? Maybe I've grown afraid of the silence. Maybe I can't be in silence any more. 

Everything we do...

Ends in death. I came over to see dad dying. To figure out how to extend my cats' life by creating more wealth to save a property that is also somhow, dying. More importantly, I am dying. Constantly. Death looms over me like some inevitable solution to life. I can't not see it. Anything and everything I do will end in my death. At somehow that is good? \

All this sacrifice, suffering, effort, blood, sweat, and tears... just do die? Why? Why can't we just enjoy the ride, like some macabre movie we watch? Why must we attach ourselves to our ego, to our self as an eternal being? Why is forgetting everything .... tragic? Or perhaps is remembering everything? 

Ramira. Amlita. Perro. Miley. Foragides, all my cats... They live, they die... and in the time between... they are... cats. 

Grok made videos out of my art...