Happy birthday mom.

 A quiet day. The ayahuasca did not arrive, and I might have to go get it. It's odd. Grandmother Aya decides for herself or is there other agents trying to decide for her? In the end, I think it's her, she is controlling all this anyhow. 

Makuro is not well. I need to force-feed her or she will waste away. Lucy also looks a little tired, but nothing terrible. 

Aless Rousseau is... very much Rasasthali... She/He is going through what it must go through to understand itself.  I hope Grandmother Aya treats him/her well. 

In this state of my existence, everything I think tends to solidify into reality. This is the whole issue with the Dungeons & Dragons thing, Jenny is right. But whatever she might say, I must follow my heart and do what feels right to do. D&D feels right. It's the right game, and playing it is all about understanding God. 
 

I have to finish 20 pages today. It's lots of work and it will take most of the day, but I don't mind. It's a billionaire romance which I titled Christmas in Portland. I will make it not boring. Mostly, romances are boring. Writiting directly to the blogger slows down my computer. I''m going back to Fade In. 

 

Writing for others and writing for myself.

 

Feeling pressured to write for economic reasons does not allow time for the mind to find the best ideas. The best writing requires time. But the economic benefit of storytelling is adictive. Getting paid to write something creative has a special magic.

The "d" in my computer sticks. It slows everything down. And then there is a weird delay between what I write and ddwhat shows on my screen, on blogger anyhow.