Exhausted. It's the work, which is fast and hard and it does not stop for a pause. But I gotta do this, I gotta make sure my family is okay, and pay the rent, bring food to the table. Mom's health is not good, and she is actually complaining about it now, which is new since she is not one to complain. Nanda is not going to school as he should, and Rasa... Rasa is okay. 

Once again, Adrenalina canceled the show on me, but I am actually happy about it because I was pretty exhausted anyhow, and this weekend I can focus on getting my INE fixed and going to get my tooth pulled out, also making sure I acquire an appointment at the ISSTE for mom.

Priorities.

I have no idea how I will make it to the states to get my SSI check back, but it's a priority. The lawsuit is a priority. For the moment, focus on my job, keeping it and paying my bills. That's the whole plan.  The bazzillion projects I have, Popocatepetl, my tarot, tarot classes, etc. They have to take second fiddle, make sure I keep my job going.

But first fiddle is Pin and the Lawsuit.  Mom's health. And my tooth. It's all part of the plan. 

I am tired. No doubt about that. It's a hard thing to go to work at 51 and do a 1-hour metro transit twice a day.  But I am resolving my life without the Social Security Disability check, and that is actually pretty hopeful. It means I can survive the zombie apocalypse. It also does wonders for my peace of mind being able to pay the rent myself, with no need for the unpredictable social security check. But I am exhausted. And cranky.

My energy level affects my ability to do things like writing and painting. I have creative urges that go unanswered because I have no energy to work on them. But it's ok. I'm paying the rent.

Off to work in about 20 minutes. I have to buy some weed too. Allergies, a sore throat, and basically the great and all-powerful sloth of having to go to the office today, but now I have to work since my social security no longer covers our expenses here, and I am working for pesos, which means 1/10th of what I would earn in the states.

Weird.

In fact, if you look at the good side of all this, you realize that maybe what I needed was to get my ass off to work, and do something besides writing and smoking dope. Yeah, it's a physical thing, having to go downtown in Metro and coming back. One hour trip each way. So now I have to manage my time more productively, write what I have to write to have enough time to write it. Figure out the time for going to government offices and shit like that in a way that works within my work schedule.

The truth is that I wanted to work with ayahuasca to support myself and my family, and I ended up renting cars for a living. Practical, necessary stuff that I have to do.

So I got a job working for the Avis Budget Group in downtown Mexico City as a Telephone customer service representative. I get paid a little more for speaking English. $16 USD a day. The same job, in Texas, pays $15 an hour. But I guess Avis and Budget must keep their costs down by hiring Mexican slaves... Me.