Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Otro dia sin rumbo.


Lo que es indispensable de entender es que los chiquillos me dan un gran placer.
Tenerlos alrededor me alivia de mi mismo mejor que cualquier otro remedio.
Entonces, cuidar de ellos es algo practicamente indispensable para mi bienestar.
Creo que a eso se refieren cuando dicen que tienes que amarte a ti mismo para amar a los demas.

Pero queda la pregunta: que sigue?

Por una parte, puedo entrar en algun negocio aqui en Valle.
O mudarme. O no hacer nada.
Pero no hacer nada lleva a lugares obscuros en mi mismo.
Mejor couparme de algun negocio.

Ora la pregunta: que?

Si me vuelvo a Gringolandia, el dinero es facil y el trabajo tambien.
Pero: es lo que me da paz?
No, claro que no. Mas bien me da guerra! HA!
Entonces, lo que mejor hacer es ocuparme aqui, en mero Valle.
Pues aqui tengo soporte y aporte de parte de mi familia, y claro, los dolaritos
lucen mas.

Pero no sin hacer nada.

Un depa, clases de musica, tarot, photographia... Cine independiente.
Lo de siempre. Trabajar, trabajar, trabajar.
Y claro, desde ahi, ganar la confianza de mis seres queridos...
Y los no tan queridos.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Todo es lo que aparenta... Nada es lo que aparenta


Desenmascarar la verdad de una vida humana.
(burp) Que es la verdad de mi realidad?
Tengo implantes? Soy bionico? Soy simplemente humano?
Tome bastantes psychodelicos, causando, seguramente, cambios en mi cerebro.
Pero no tantos como mi padre?
Que soy? Donde estoy? Que estoy haciendo aqui?
Existe la possession demonica?
Soy realmente enemigo de la Iglecia Catholica o me vale madres?

Me vale madres, supongo.
Hay cosas mas interesantes que ocupar mi tiempo.

Cada acto, cada palabra, cada hecho.
Cambia un poco la realidad.
Pero lo que mas la cambia son los pensamientos!
Cuantos pensamientos!

Rarisimo, parece que no hay lenguetazos del diablo...
Si no empiezo a escribir.

En que pensar?

En nada.

En absolutamente nada.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Disney, Hollywood y el Gordito ese.

Que le andan escupiendo a la cruz en mis suenos, pero ya se ve mas jodido el pobre, con un ojo medio safado, la piel bien chamuscada.. bueno.. ya imaginan.

Pero eso si.

Que nadie se meta con el Pato Donald.

Donde estoy y que estoy haciendo?



Pos para empezar, estoy en casa. Es decir, estoy donde me siento mejor.
Estoy chingandole la madre a la familia como de costumbre, y al mundo entero para variar.
Estoy buscando la verdad, y tratando de no creer que soy Jesus.
Estoy vivo, en carne humana, con dos ojos, dos piernas, y de vez en cuando..
El sentimiento de amor y odio y todo lo demas.
Estoy en calma. No me siento ni tan triste, ni tan feliz, pero en calma.
Estoy BIEN PICHI CACHONDO, queriendome cojer asta el gato, pero eso no es nada nuevo.

Tengo el presentimento de que tengo cosas que hacer importantes, y por esa razon, no quiero empezar cosas que no lo son.

Estoy bastante consciente, y veo lo que veo.
Tengo un chingo de amigos que ... pos ahi andan, viendo lo que hago.
Tengo un chingo de 'angelitos' echandome la mano.
Y claro esta, tengo mis detractores, pero no tantos por estos rumbos.

Ya no quiero morir tanto como antes. Pero tampoco me apego a la vida.
Ya se mas o menos, y diria yo mas que menos como romper maldiciones, y maldita sea si no es que el nombre de 'Jesus' funciona maravillas. Nimodo. Chale.

Veo en pequenitos reyes y sacerdotes. Y me hablan con pura verdad pero al corazon.
Y veo en algunos adultos ya lo mismo tambien. Pero con mucha mas confucion en sus corazones.

Los ninos no mienten.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Department of Really Bad Idea Control


It takes a real good man to accept he made a mistake.
It takes an even better man to accept he didn't.
Sometimes, guilt makes us do stupid things.
Getting over this guilt is as easy as breathing in a new day.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Confucion en el corazon! Pa donde jalar!?

Islam es 'surrender'.
Pero pa donde rendirse?
A que rendirse?
A la razon? A la paz?

Que es la "Ley"?
Generalmente la "Ley" es un asunto dado por razones religiosas.
La "Ley" se define desde el punto de algun libro sacro, Bibla, Koran, Baghavad Gita.
Y de ahi, costumbres locales.

Pero y que de los Sodomitas?
QUe placer hay en un mundo sin ellos y sin posibilidad de su existencia?

Dad...

Calls Crowley Soup from the Soup... Hmmmmm...

Actually...

Sri Brahma Samhita.

Where I am now.

Listening to songs about Govinda. Finding peace there too.
And wondering what words I will be speaking when I leave the body.

Two roads.
Three roads.
Four roads.
Many, many, many roads.

Nobody is lost, but some take a long time to get where they need to go.

Bad Hair Day

I feel like the universe is stripping me of everything one follicle at a time.
It is a bit like dying, but very, very, very slowly.

Strip my love.
Then my hate.
Strip my desires.
Then my needs.

Where does it end?
When there is nothing, nothing, nothing.

Somewhere, the heart of Compassion beats still in my heart.
Maybe that's why I look like a Zen Monk.
But then, I also look like Anton LeVey and Alaister Crowley.

It's all the lies over so many years.
They come tumbling down like a house of cards.
The rage against 'it' that made me be a bald Zen Monk...
Might simply be building up.

I listen to Aztec Dances as I write this..
To give my fingers strength, strength to tell the truth.

The Wedding.

Renata Calls.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Little Raven reminded me to tell ya...

If I am Ganesha.
My father is Siva.
(Burp).

Another little thing I realized today.
I personally don't need to have ANY faith whatsoever.
I feed from the faith of those around me.

A third point: what use faith if you have knowledge?

And a fourth point: it is the love for the folks around us that makes it all good.

Wanna ta fuck?

ooooohhhh okay.. this is too much fun.
SOMEBODY better open this fucking jar for me!

WTF or WTF?

Where the fuck?
What the fuck?
Why the fuck?
When the fuck?

How can I determine when I'm lyign to myself?

I don't know what I don't know that I don't know!
I reserve the right to be totally wrong.
And I'll be happy to have anybody call me on my bullshit.

What does my heart sing to?

All my self doubt is a crucible.
I asked myself this morning: would it benefit the whole world to burn itself that a new world might come about?
I ask myself: has it not burned enough?
And how am I to know that it's burning?
Is there a fire outside the gates of this office?

There is a fire in my heart.
(cough cough)
Everywhere I turn, I see: cables, lights, fires.

Man's creations.

A prison of men by men.
The birds tell me this.
Even the cockroach, the rat and some of the other 'vermin'...
Tell me this.

And what are the 'fruits' of man's 'creations'?

The satisfaction of Lust.

Here is the key: what is the difference between Lust and Love?
Lust leaves behind the person empty.
Love fills the person.

It is Love that will triumph.
Love WITH passion. Passion, not just for asses, pricks, cunts and tits.
But for people.

Having said that!

WTF is my infantry?

Who sends us dreams?


An old fashioned plantation house.
A family living there.
Little ghost girl (boy am I ever plagued by little ghost girls!) in a white dress above the knees with the puffy arms.
She had two pigs tails to each side of her head.
At the kitchen, she appears to a group of people and to me.
I tell them that I will follow her into the bedroom.
There, I grab her.
She starts to ask me to be born as my child.
Then, she transforms into a hideous goblin, right on my arms.
The same little girl appears behind us and drops a book on the bed where I'm holding the goblin down.
The book has a picture of her and under the picture a date: July 1817.
It is a leader cover and there are other two people with her in the picture.
The rest of the folks come into the room, crying: "Daemon in a Jar, Demon in a Jar".
I realize that a demon in ajar might very well think he is master of the universe.
But he is master only of the illusions inside the jar.
Furthermore, the only way to 'release' the demon in the jar..
Is to either open it or shatter it.

It is not surprising that Jinn are captured in bottles.

This story goes to all those Jarheads, fighting a 'holy war' for Mammon.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I suppose...

The Vatican is a target for spiritual cleansing.

I wonder...

What the elders of Zion need to get THEIR Messiah on a 'living' throne.
I wonder who many 'hidden' Messiahs are on the planet today.
I wonder so many things, it makes my head want to explode.

But what REALLY gets me mad.
What REALLY makes me raving, lunatic, crazy...

YEARS ago, I planned a pretty good strategy to 'liberate' the USA from it's tyrannical rulers by simply selling soy-tacos and establishing tianguis on all the streets. I wrote a little declaration of war, almost as a joke.

A NON-VIOLENT war.

9-11 million times later, folks are still killing each other for absolutely no good reason other than selling more weapons of mass destruction to terrorists that they themselves (the folks who sell these weapons) train.

My family has been skewered, my penis shivered and my head bedazzled. And now? What is there left? A bunch of whiny neighbors!

'secret' handlers, military 'masterminds', all manner of 'friends' of the Pink Party keep trying to make me into some kind of ruthless killer. Am I that? I suppose, if given the option of murdering 100,000 or 1 million, I would take 100,000. BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SELLING SOY TACOS!?

And actually, here is the greatest puzzle of them all.

Is it really better to murder 1 or 1 million?

How many have died since the war began?

COME ON GUYS!

WE GOT THE TECHNOLOGY!

The Bible demands...

The sacrifice on 1/3 of all trees, 1/3 all fish, 1/3 all animals...
And a whole lotta humans for the King of Kings to descend.

Any takers?

How many sacrifices go unoticed?

In war?
Millions.

How can you tell you have faith in God?


Be willing to bet your life... in it.

And the Truth Shall Set you Free.

Wanna make a LIAR outta me?

Those who pray to One God

And do not know another...
Secretly pray to the Destroyer.

What a terrible thing I am becoming.

But that is what ...

Is.

Is.

By their fruits thou shall know them..


The fruits of the churches:

The Catholic Church: War. Weapons. Animal Slaughter.
The Sunni: War. Weapons. Animal Slaughter.
The Shia: War. Weapons. Animal Slaughter.
Zion: War. Weapons. Animal Slaughter.

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Two roads.
The left.
The right.

Then, if yer clever, you split off into the middle.
But clever might not get you where you wanna go.

And the truth shall set you free.. Again.. And again.. and again..

Am I a manchine?
Am I an internet creation?
Am I...
What I am?

Rob calls me 'the Robin'.
At moments I see his light.
He shines like Jesus.
At moments I see his darkness.
He is just Bim again.

The Reverend.
The good Reverend.
Is he calling on Jesus/Satan?
Alpha/Omega?

(burp).

The Dajjal is a deceiver.
The Dajjal is WHAT I am writing this log on.
Ananta Sesa: the fabric of things.

What is the role of (lick) ...

We are ALL Jesus.

If I don't move my fingers? Who does?
Who is 'the machine' controller?