Gaisterbahn

So..
Watching this part of "Dajjal will be a Reptilian"...
Something mom always warned me about: messing on the ethereal.
And those terrible nightmares of white noise as a kid.
Always before passing out.
So many, so incredible many spirits...
All asking me to 'return to them'.
All of them on the white noise-place.
I didn't want to go with them.
I never wanted to go with them.

Now I begin to understand.
Television.
The Gaisterbahn.

There's No Place Like Home

El mouse en la compu de papa no funciona. \
Typico.
Tanto dinero para nada..
Nada funciona aqui por que es mas bien como ...
Una pelicula de errores.

Poemas. Todo lo que me queda son poemas.
Podria escribir cuentos.
Usar el lenguaje para crear una foto de un lugar distinto.
Un mundo diferente.
Para que?
Quien seria el lector?
Yo.
Escritor y lector de mi mismo cuento.

Nothing new under the sun, baby.
Algo futurista.
Un scientifico loco que crea una raza de humanos superiores.
Dotados de capacidades para amar.
Que desconocen el odio, los celos..

Podria ser realidad.
Dame un huerfanato.
Quitame las leyes y los hombres de encima.
Y te dare la nueva y terrible raza humana.

Moldearia un ser nuevo.
Un ser nunca visto.

Mi perfecto experimento en amor humano llevado a sus concluciones mas logicas.

Pero el humano viejo, violento, monstruoso...
Es mas numeroso.
Mis nuevos hombres serian decimados.
Quemados, controlados, humillados.

Sospecho que ya construi el diagrama de este mundo utopico...
En mi infame "Templo del Pulpo"...
O "Manifesto del Pulpo" o alguna cosa asi.

Perfeccionar el experimento requeriria ...
Unos 500 infantes de ambos sexos...
De preferencia bebes.

En 16 anos, llegarian a madurez.
En 30, ya tendrian bebes propios.
Como el peyote, tomaria mucho tiempo cuidar esta nueva humanidad.
Y el resultado no lo veria yo nunca...
Amenos que la humanidad actual encuentre el antidoto a la vejez.

Si cada 'Homo-Robin' tubiera 5 crias,
Podrian tener su propica colonia en solo 3 generaciones.
Pero tendrian que permanecer ocultos.

Para que?
Una vez descubiertos, los humanos los tratarian de exterminar.
Y con tantos humanos, los Homo-Robins casi no tendrian chance de...

Sobrevivir.

Bienvenido al mundo de Juan Raro.

I broke my fast and didn't tell dad...

But he broke it first.
He gave me soup.
I'm not gonna go into the details, because they are unimportant.
But I was supposed to fast until this Monday.
And I broke it.
And I feel ok about it.

Haven't heard much from mom..

And I'm still blowing tons of yellow gooey stuff outta my nose.
No money, supposedly still 'fasting' with dad.
Should be working... Work is a weird concept.

Best thing that ever happened to me was the sims.
Now if I can just figure out how to use all those wonderful patches!

Back to the grind..

12th day of my fast.
I'm starting to want to eat something.
Anything.
A bit of cold coffee left over from dad..
Is bliss in a cup.

Cheat on the fast?
No solids for 12 days...
That's something right?
But it's not the kind of fast that I generally do.
If I fast.
I fast.
And this ain't no 'total water fast'.
More like a no-solids fast.

I yearn for a hamburger.
A steak.
Lambchops.

But yearning is a funny thing.
It means nothing.
I yearn to get rid of this weird cold I have too.
This influenza.

Mi mind is eerily calm.
I'm not freaking out about conspiracies, cops..
Truman Shows.
Must be the cleansing.

And now, I'm working.
Working on a materials' list for dad.
Go figure.

Ora si me siento de la superchingada...

My 'bronchitis' went up into my head.
I can't breathe trough the nose...
And my head feels like it's gonna explode.
My sinuses are full of yellow gunk.
Ohh. This is no fun.

Chistoso como una sola noche puede darte en la madre.

There has to be a balance...

Between mental health and spiritual awakening.
Lets just assume that I am totally dead.
And this life, this existence is nothing more and nothing less than...
The labyrinth of the beast.
A place that drives me from one desire to another without end.
The belief that I am somehow 'causing' all this chaos.
Although, I have admitted to being chaotic good...
This fratricidal war between Islam, Democracy, Christianity...
Mexico, the USA, China, Russia..
How could little old me be responsible for all that?

I can play a part in it.
That's all.
And my part has been, up to now, trying to figure out the truth.
Sure, I got the whole weed-warewolf act down to a system.
But even in my most deluded hassashin states,
I am a creature that hates and abhors violence.
Causing the death of other human beings is just not my ...

Pleasure.

Jail had the unfortunate effect of doing away with my heroic fantasies of..
Miraculous non-engagement.
Folks just want to kill you sometimes.
It's weird.

Have my words murdered folks?
Not intentionally. Certainly not intentionally.
Like Mario Puzzo and Superman.
How many folks jumped off a window because they believed they can fly?

Have my words saved anybody?

I do hope so!
Otherwise, what a waste of time!

I spanked the monkey tonight. A far cry from a 'celibate' fast, but...
I am a little restless and spanking the monkey relaxes the shit outta me.
Is it a sin? A crime?
A missed opportunity to raise my kundalini further up my spine?

Probably in some universes it is.
I am also sucking on a coffee candy.
Keeps me ... content.
And since the fast was more or less petitioned by Sheik Omar,
Wellll.....

I don't cheat myself to the best of my knowledge.
I do my best not to cheat and lie to others too.
It's complicated, right?

Balance.
Mental Health.
Middle Way.

Kinda hard when you get the visions I get.
The whole 'the Sun is watching me' business...
It's not a joke.
It's pretty damn ... awesome.
But what am I supposed to do with it?

I don't feel like a damned prophet or saint or any of the above.
I feel quite the contrary, like a man who has risked way too much...
In spiritual affairs.

I mean.. I have consciously allowed spirits to posses me, for Christ's sake!

Will I keep doing it?
Yeah, well, it's kinda my dharma, no?

Take the Tarot.
Can I ever stop reading the Tarot?
Nooooooo...
Why?
Because it is a sacred duty if somebody asks me a question to help them the best I can.

Ayahuasca, Peyote..

WEED!

That's my real job!
How do you explain that to a priest?

Ancestor worship. Well, I certainly wouldn't 'worship' aunty Berta..
But I did eat some of the ashes of my grandma.
And I do see them sometimes... These 'shadows'.
Especially when I'm stoned.

There is also the obvious fact that Biblical prophecy is coming to pass.
Add it to the Koran and it's some ... scary shit.
For a Troll-Shaman like myself.

And yet, much as I try, the only really 'dark' spell I ever made was...

Katia.

And I did it because I wanted her love more than anything.

Misfire!

You can't FORCE love. It has to be a natural thing. I has to be 'God-given'.
Besides, she always loved me anyhow..
Why was I tripping about it?

More importantly... How can I make amends?

Yippie, I slept til 11!!!

I am about fed up with the 'fast', which I consider more like a sinister Sufi diet.
Fasting means not eating, and there's plenty of sinister Sufi soup in this fast.
Typical dad: all preparation and ... no fun.
Like when we used to go camping.
He would load up the car with stuff. Tents, bags, cooking utensils.
Then rent a motel room!

Still tho.. The 'fast' keeps the peace between us.
That's worth any bit of discomfort...
For a while.

I should procure to find my child-bride in the next few years.
It is the only way that I can vanquish this spectre of 'pedophilia'
that hangs around my shoulders like a heavy iron chain.

How can I convince a reluctant human race that it's okay to love young uns?
Marrying one comes to mind.
Mohamed did it and it worked for him, right?

Keyword: love.

Fucking keyword! I can't even make dad comp to the fact that the only woman he has really 'loved' is Sasha. To me is as obvious as his bad temper. To him, it is a great secret, a kind of taboo subject that sends him into painful places.

Obviously, it has to do with his mother. His 'conquest' of 1,000 women had all to do with vengeance on his mother.

He is not alone in this, wot?

But grandma is dead, and the healing must take place in with the whole family if it's to work at all. You can't heal just one part of your body, you must heal your entire body.

Just as Katia is key to this whole puzzle, so is Sasha and oddly enough, Weixing and the rest.

Lets go back to dad's original 'global family' dreams... Lets look really what that means. I have no doubt that Alister Crowley was part-influence of this. Why? Because it makes sense. The whole 'Leary' gang was deeply influenced by the same writers. Dad is a product of that counter-culture.

His finishing touches, courtesy of one Alex Salkind and Berta Dominguez DD. He is very reluctant to see Tia Berta's 'good' side, because she was the only real witch he ever really met. The reality of Berta was too much for his basically 'gringo' mind. He could see her working behind the veil, doing what she did best: consuming human beings utterly. He is disgusted by it because he does not understand it as profoundly as I do.

And yet, he continues in the path to imitate the work.

Alex would have never existed without Berta. This is the part he does not understand. So he copies Alex, disregarding the most important element of his magic: his witchy wife.

Towards the end, I finally understood Tia Berta and I began to deeply and profoundly love her for what she was. Her spirit ... Can be very helpful.

Understanding Berta is understanding my Mom. Blanca never came close to having the profound impact on mom that Berta did.

If you are unable to love Berta... You will very certainly be unable to love my mom, right dad? Your lack of love for Berta comes from a deep ignorance of her nature. Berta had a Nahua name, Xochiquetzal. She was a Princess. And even as a whiter-than-white would-be European, she represented the spirit of rebellion against all those values that Spain brought to Mexico. This is why she consumed Europeans with such abandon: because it was her duty as a Mexican.

One thing is certain...

I gotta be ready in 2012, right around December to give my heart to the Sky-Boss.
The place to do it would be Chichen Itza. This I have already seen.

Beyond all the bullshit,,,,

There's a whole lot of love in here.
I mean, I might not really understand the universe and everything else.
And I'm not entirely sure if it's God or the Devil that runs things...
But what I can really vouch for, the one thing I know without a doubt..
Is that I can love and love well..

Take the little naked shit in the picture.
Sure, anybody can love a little whelp like that.
But can you love him every day? Every way?
Can you love him if it gets in your way?

Yeah, love is about the only thing worth doing in this world.
Otherwise, yer life is a waste o' space.

The question is HOW to love.

There are two kinds of people ...

Those who live in fear of authority.
And those who don't.
Authority generally is not necessarily authority because it is 'right'.
Authority is authority because it has a gun, or a badge, or a Judge's seat.
Yet, over the many adventures I've had with authority, I have found...
That 'authority' is generally much more corrupt than ordinary folks.
In fact, the folks least likely to cheat you ...
Are those who dedicate their lives to crimes and misdemeanors.
Because the law of the street is far more equitable and less brutal..
Than the 'Law' of the books.

This is just my experience, and it might be a bit ...
Prejudiced.
But I have met Zetas, Familia de Michoacan, Skatos, Cholos, Southsider Crips, 13s...
And all of them have a certain code.
An inner, human morality.

Laws, on the other hand, are lifeless things.
They have no 'code'. No inner morality.
They serve those who best know how to manipulate them.

Cops...
Some good.
Some bad.

Who runs their strings?
Who plays their tunes?
Who makes their scripts?

Governors?
Presidents?
Judges?

Or mobsters who haven't been caught yet?

A terrible nightmare

So, I dreamed that the government has a way to hack into dreams.
And US Marshall's can arrest you for dreams you have,
Even though it's the government that gave you the dream in the first place!

In fact, it's not easy to make folks dream shit.
All you have to do is sit next to them and suggest them stuff while they are dreaming.

But imagine a world where the government can determine your dreams!

Two sins I don't have to worry about...

Pride.
Envy.

I don't think I suffer from either of these.
I know I am a shit. And no, I'm not proud of it.

You know what?
Maybe I'm full of shit again. Nevermind.
I am kinda proud of being a shit.
And I envy folks who are not shits like me.

Let them..

"I" am not ready.
Because "I" am not sure who "I" am.

HOW THE FUCK CAN I SAY SUCH A THING!?

Why wait 2 more years?

People are dying right now.
Today.
It must end.

The solution is there.
Nobody is doing a damned thing.

Another morning rant

The problem with psychedelics in large quantities is that you are really never sure if you are just fucking nuts or if things around you have really gone nuts. Usually it's a 50/50 combination of both things.

Some irrefutable facts about psychedelics.

1. The so called 'War on Drugs' is a DEA/Mafia operation to make lots of money at the cost of the lives of a few fools. That makes the Police and the Mob one in the same. It's all about the control, baby.

2. Psychedelics open your mind to new and interesting ideas.

3. Tripping 'hard' has to do with dying - with letting go. If this is not understood by the tripper, then they might find themselves dying anyhow.

Nuff said about that.

Sobriety is okay, but I don't really recommend it for such a fucked up world. I mean.. They are killing Afghans using our tax money to do it! How can you remain sober in such a world?

That's just it. We are living World War III (or 5 or 12 or 246) and nobody seems to give a rat's ass. What happened to the street demonstrations? What happened to the Veterans Against the War? What happened... To China?

Does anybody remember the opium wars? I'm off the Icke and Alex Jones websites for a while, but after the 11th, I'm back. Call it 'taking a break'. Saturating my mind with too much info is no good. It makes me irritable. A break is good...

But I can't get this feeling in my head and mind that something is bad wrong. My entire body is .. wired somehow.. to.. I mean, it sounds paranoid, right? But cops can hear my thoughts a mile away! WTF?

Who polices the 'secret masters'? Oh, yeah, the same ones Hitler spoke about, for sure! Perhaps they are beyond any law, even the laws of time and space. The spirit masters serve potency beyond MY comprehension.

Which leads me back to the great question... What am I?

The profound answer, as given by my buddy the Hypnotist Samuel Joshua Marcus is: I am that I am. But lets take that down a few notches... Lets start with my body. I have a 'body', inside the body a mind. How the body and the mind interact with other bodies and minds reminds me that 'I' exist separate but also not separate from them. I shit, I eat, I bleed, I sleep. I am human. What is beyond this 'human' ... Does something remain after the vehicle is gone?

In Ayahuasca, Peyote and Mushroom trips one has glimpses of the interconectedness of all things. In fact, with Aya, there is a clear vision of the 'nothingness' of somethingness. For instance, there is no such thing as a penis or a leg or an eye during a trip. And yet, the mental construct 'penis' might very well appear as a part of the tapestry that is woven into the all-ness.

Good tea. I strongly recommend it.

NAMA SIVAYA!

Anyhow.

India. China. The internet.

Fuck.

Folks in high places playing power games when it could all end like.. so much easier.

Old Louie in Clearwater told me he was much more afraid of some hacker in Tampa or Minneapolis destroying the world than the Chinese or American governements. What ol' Louie did not consider is that the technology to destroy the world was not built by the hacker. The governments have the means and the menpower to de-activate all these systems. Therefore, the problem is not the disenfranchised hacker himself, but the governments that make him Lord Siva by their greed and lack of vision.

Keeping myself outta jail is a full time job...

For some inexplicable reason...
Almost everything I like to do,
Everything I like to think..
Everything I like ....
Is punishable by jail.

So keeping myself outta there is a full time job.
Every day, I have to look over my shoulder...

That's ONE good reason to take over the world.

Amazing what a good night sleep can do...

Mmmmkay.. Lemme see.
The Sufis are all about
Love
Harmony
and Beauty...

Here's beauty then.

I know it for a fact that Demons exist.
Met a few.
Therefore, it must also be true that Angels exist.
Which are which?

Let us consider the usual suspects:

Chango - usually brings good stuff. Angel?
Indra - Angel no doubt... Maybe it's Chango..
Thor - Well, maybe it's just Indra dressed as a Viking wot?

Now..

Lucifer (the morning star) - Well.. Demon, of course.
Cupid - Krsna kills this dude. Over and over..
Venus - 'She' is actually revered by the Romans and Greeks

Has anybody figured out why Jesus is also the Morning Star?
I'm telling you, those early Christians were up to no good.
They were probably cannibals! :)

So.. In a Pantheon so full of contradictory demons and angels...
What to do, what to do what to do?

Save Tibet!
Join the CIA.

And really my thing are dragons.
Serpents. Especially of the plumed variety.
One has to note carefully that the Ming Dynasty dragon..
Has feathers on her tail.

Now... The Bible is not very kind to dragons.
And really, as far as accessibility for the common man,
Jesus' message has no equal.
How can you beat the sermon on the mount?
But ol' JHVH in the Old Testament..
He's Jealous, Wrathful, Angry... Y'know. The works.
Makes mincemeat out of the poor Egyptians and their Pantheon.
Sounds more like a Jewish Politician than an almighty
Creator of Mankind.
Don't much care for Gays either.

Jesus was not about that.

Or maybe he was.

Maybe I'm still full of shit.

Before I forget...

Lolikon will save the internet.
The internet will save the world.

It's hard to keep Adab!!!

But the fact is that dad said: 'no surfing'.
He did not say 'no writing on my log'.
Since my beef is with Lucifer, I don't expect any pity.
I don't expect any rescue at the last moment.
I don't expect anything but... the worst possible case scenario.

It is also said the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so...
Lets review my good intentions:

1. An end to the borders of the world within our lifetime.
2. An end to so called 'consensual crimes' within our lifetime.
3. To 'turn swords into plowshares' and 'learn war no more'.

This list could go on and on and on...
Why bother? They are still 'good intentions'.
Besides, I've already spoken about this stuff elsewhere.
The problem is mankind.
Mankind could be living in paradise right now.
If only they wanted to.

I have no doubt that Hitler and company had similar plans for the world.
That's the trick of it, see? The devil tempts you and either you accept or you decline.

But did Hitler and company have the technology?

The obvious answer is yes. I have no doubt that time-travel will be possible in the near future and therefore (little devilish licking in my ass for that btw), time-travel is occurring here and now by somebody.

The devils licking my ass feeling has gotten worse.
Blame Hollywood.
But in fact, the only person to blame is myself.

In fact, I even felt a trident (or some kind of puncture-causing weapon). It kinda makes you realize your mistakes when that happens. It also makes you wish you could go back in time.

But I don't worry. I know also that the universe is perfect and everybody gets exactly what they deserve and need. The 'devil' is nothing more than a very compassionate school-master that reminds us day-in, day-out that our job is to go back to God, go back to the Goodness.

SO! I refuse to hate the 'devil'. In fact, I have nothing but love for 'him'. He is there to teach me how badly I can fuck up, and whatever punishment I get is okay. It's what I needed to remember my true mission in life...

To serve the One True God.

Kukulkan.

Here's to George Hyram Derby RIP

First of all, undoubtedly, George is not dead.
Such an important asset to the Security Agencies is not likely to be lost.
Second of all...
I hope you are doing well, George.
I lost the little bag you gave me, but I gave my sister the coin.
It was worth a try, although, if I am not mistaken,
I struck a deal previous for the same prize.

The problem with selling souls, George, is that they are never really ours.
If you understand 'soul' to be a Jiva, you recognize that whatever deals,
bargains, contracts, agreements, you might enter into for a soul...

They are null and void the moment the soul returns to it's origin.

We once had a conversation about 'soul' eaters.
Yeah, well, it's more like soul 'leasers' or soul 'renters'.
Eternity is just a few Yugas long eh?

Problem with Blavatsky, Crowley and the whole bunch of Asuras (peace be upon them)...

Is ignorance.

And if I remember correctly, somewhere in the Bible is stated, beyond any reasonable doubt: "The Truth Shall Set You Free".

I don't suppose you will be forthcoming with the truth any time soon.
So, I'll be happy to meet you in Chicago, 11,11,2012.

You deserve better outta me...

Whenever I stop lying to myself..
I'll stop lying to you.
But..
Who are 'you'?
You are the one reading.
I am the one writing. (burp).

Spirits run things like a machine.
Now men want to do the same.
I wonder if it is wise.
Should we allow others to write our scripts?

There are names that have peace to them..
And there are names that have the opposite of peace.
Try saying Beelzebub a few times around the block.
It won't really help get you good sleep.
Now, try chanting Hare Krsna.
It works like a charm.

What then of Allah? (cough, cough, cough)
Jahova? And Jesus Christ?

Well, the Lord's prayer works, certainly.
But... I sense deception there. (edit: who is "I"?)
India is far older and wiser than Israel.
The Tao is for everybody.

Would I be able to gather the armies of Gog and Magog to march against Zion?
Then there is no "I" doing it.

"I" must wonder... Is it wiser to be silent or to speak when "I" don't know the truth?

The story so far...

Abad...
Knowing what the Guru (Sheik) needs before he asks it.
There is no 'I' or 'You'.
We are a complex web of interconnectedness.

The Triad.
Los Zetas.
and the Central Intelligence Agency
all work for the same goals...

The real 'hidden' masters are spiritual beings who understand...

The two sides of the story, the dark and the light...
Are only inside one's own heart.

This is what we call the Great Jihad.
He who finds no joy singing the names of Krsna
Will find no joy in the Great Jihad!

I only know one truth.

My HUMAN heart belongs to a Dragon.
I am food.
I am free.

There are so many beautiful women...

In so many different species...
I surely can't marry them all, can I?
After all, I'm just only human.

I should just put a whole bunch of these ...

They say if you look at a woman with lust....

You have committed adultery with her.
The only alternative to this...
Is to marry her, wut?

Sodomy, the New Circumcision?

We don't we all just get nakkid and use drugs?
Folks down in Vatican City must be on SOMETHING.

Here's to all the dead in Haiti

Death comes for all of us.
She is a gracious mistress.
Our suffering ends in her embrace.

Here's to all the dead in Haiti

Death comes for all of us.
She is a gracious mistress.
Our suffering ends in her embrace.

Some folks get a real hard on...

Learning how to kill.

Ave Maria

Donno, Blessed father. You take the high ground, I'll take the 'Low Ground'. After all, if there is no evil, how can there be good, right?

When Satan and Jesus both talk to you. How do you know which is which?

Oh, yeah.. Sorry for the bathroom accident. Won't happen again.

PS. Bless me father, for I have sinned.

If you know the players...

I have a little voice in my head.
In fact, I have two or 3.
But one that is very pernicious and keeps judging me.
But without lies.
I suppose that it's this fine goat-headed fellow, Baphomet.
Good ol' Solve-Coagula.
Since I kinda tattooed Beelzebub's symbol on my heart, I suppose it's not necessarily wrong.
Sadly, it makes me hurt when I read the Bible or when I see a cross.
And y'know...

I kinda Miss Jesus.

Psalm 118:5-6

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

How to sucessufully win a revolution.

This is for all my revolutionary friends.
How you really learn to win a revolution:

First you have to kill all your family.
Every single one with your own hands.
Then all your friends.
Every single one.

This is why I prefer to fight the Great Jihad from within.

Remember the First Noble Truth, Alex

This is a world of dualities.
To be good there must be evil.
To be cold there must be hot.
To be Alex Jones, there need be Barack Obama.
To be Fidel Castro, there need be JFK.

What time is it?
It is time for a World Government.
Who is the defacto ruler of this World Government?
The person with the most guns.
The question now for the world is: who has more guns, Alex or Barack?

For there to be a Christ...
There must be first a Dajjal.

Do we have free will?

Can we be really programmed?
Who writes our script?
If the spirit is not free to do what it will,
Is it the soul that acts?

Did Hyranyakasipu have an option not to try and destroy his son? Was his entire life a script of a single ending? And if there is no free will, what's the point?

Why taking over the world is really a BAD idea.

Hi... I'm your God Emperor and I've come to enslave you. If you don't like it, I will Sodomize your children.

Hmmm...

Not really a great first impression on folks, is it?

The technology is there and it's exceedingly simple to do. But FUCK ME!!!!

Oh yeah... Profound revelation last night: There are TWO Marias!

My evil plan to get laid and conquer the world... Again.

So yesterday I went to the beach to say Hi to Maitress.
I kinda ended up praying all the prayers I know.
I think Maria is a fine name for God's mom, hence, praying to God's mom is...
About as close to Salaam Aleycum as I come.

But it worked.
Blessed Maria must be really pissed off with me, but at least she listens.
Santisima Maria! HA!

Anyhow. Sharing little miracles is not what I am about.
I am about getting laid and conquering the world.

Here's the plan then...
I guess it's the right time to share it.

First I need:

1. Infantry: 144,000 Boys between 8-11 in a Choir.
2. Cavalry: Not sure how many, but enough to have a good birds-eye-view of my infantry.

I don't think I need anything else.

Weapons:

1. Video Cameras
2. Harps.

There are still some details to the plan. For instance, I need to make a critical attack map, but I'm betting on Washington DC as my first target. They are the biggest threat to my New World Order after all.

If all goes well in Washington, and I have no reason to believe it won't, then I will focus on my next biggest threat: Afghanistan.

I'm thinking I'll leave Israel for last.

Assault on the Iskon Temple!!! ARGGGG.

Well, not really assault.
More like a visit.
But that's my big plan today.
TO make a movie about Nrsimhadeva.

I wonder if the GBC is in conflict still with Gurudeva.

Sasha's Imperial Dragon

Wikipedia says that it's from the Ming Dynasty. There is a similar fellow on a coin called the Hsu-Dragon from some province out thar. But Sash said specifically NO PORTRAIT, so we're going with the Yellow Dragon. I'd love for Katia to have the balls to come and look at her portrait and close some books with me. But I will respect her ... silence. I wonder what she will choose to cover up the portrait?

Maybe she will choose to cut off my arm and eat it! HA!

Anyhow. Outline. Should get away with it for less than $100. That leaves me $300 to go back. Good investment.

My to do list for today:

1. Ulli.
2. Ticket.
3. Sash.
4. Rob and Bshir. Sunday 10th: 3:00.
5. Internet: Grapelli, Wong, Ulli, Redbox, Nestle.
6. Fix toliet.
7. Laundry?
8. Won-G.

Still to do:

1. DEMON KING - Venice Temple
2. Passport.
3. Clearwater.

Just like old times, right?

Now is where I wonder: where is my infantry!

I hope this guy is not a fake.
In fact, I hope we all get the joke and break out of this dualistic madness.
I can think of several paradises.
Most involve lots of love-making without guilt.

Anyhow.

I sent mom some money.
That's about all the good I can do right now.

I want to learn to draw like the Japanese!

I was almost thinking this image was too sacrilegious.
Then I remembered nothing is sacred and nothing is profane.
Sat in the John reading about Allah.
Surfed the computer last night looking for hope.

Hope is only to be found in my own heart.
Faith is there too, hidden from all who would look for her.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

9:57 a.m.
Sunset Blvd. office of Longtale LLC.

So... What is there left to say? I was looking for a picture of Rasasthali and all I found on google is this.. Weird. Rahda is not Rasasthali, so something's up on google. I used to get the 'rasasthali' picture without trouble. Talk about mindless algorhytms.

I feel quite peaceful. Last night I was actually considering staying in L.A. for a while longer. After all, it's easier to get around in L.A. than in Valle because I have all the anemnities here. And I don't have to worry about running back to see the infamous SS so I don't loose my little disability check.

Also, there is something troubling about how the money was spent in Valle. I felt ... something was wrong. The expenditures were too desperate and quick. Paying debts, surely, but.. why so many debts!?

Matters not.

What does matter?

The day-to-day joy and tenderness of each human interaction. For the moment, I get that from baby-sister Sasha. She is a total square. Dresses like a square. DOn't smoke dope. Drinks a little, thank the Gods. But you can sense her conservatism from a mile away. It's dad's fault. He never told her about uncle Roy. Don't surprise me. He wants to keep her innocent and sweet. Not like me, huh?

But she is tender, and sweet and ... oddly innocent! Quite a refreshment from Valle and my diabolic buncha kids.

How can I cure my terrible tendency to destroy innocence? Oh, well...

Work and money: I feel needful to get back into a work-style. Sadly, all my favorite pet-projects would cost more than offer a profit, so I will go back to doing what was most profitable and congruent spiritually for me: Tarot.

Perhaps reading the Tarot is my destiny.

The Bible and Koran: although the prophecies thereof seem to be rapidly coming to pass, I will not bow to either for moral guidance, except for the sole true admonition of Jesus Christ: the Golden Rule.

The reason is simple: under the moral guidance of both Bible and Koran, the world seems at the border of a senseless and fratricidal global Crusade/Jihad. I will simply not take sides on this conflict. Perhaps this is the reason the Archangel Lucifer revealed himself to me as my Guardian Angel. Perhaps in the whole fabric of things, taking sides for either Islam or Christianity is loosing the basic humanity of Christ's original purpose, and therefore his original Kingdom. So rude awakening for me will be that I am wrong and that by neither embracing Islam or Christianity I am guaranteeing myself a corner of hell somewhere, but my guts tell me I am right, and that both these great religions have been adulterated by man, cooked in the highest form of satanic intolerance and hatred and basically, self-fulfilling as prophecies, for the sake of some unfathomable joke of the "Creator".

As for Christ...

Well, my mind tells me that he is none other than Krsna is some Jewish incarnation. Hence the 'father', 'son' and 'Holy-Spirit' are none other than Brahma, Visnu and Siva. If Siva is the 'Holy-Spirit'... are we all in trouble? Certainly I am!

The general opinion of wise-men from India is that in Kali-Yuga the best diety to worship is Kali. The most pleasing form of Kali I could find was La Virgen de Guadalupe, who is somewhere between Kali and Yasoda, but serves as a Mother-Goddess. If serving the Father has brought us to the brink of World War III, serving the Mother seems like a logical antidote.

Perhaps I am wrong about all this stuff. Perhaps, my deepest heart is agnostic. But whenever I pray to Krsna, Sri-Nrsimhadeva and even Kristos, I get answered rather rapidly. So, how can I in all honesty be agnostic?

I am deistic. My favorite form of God(that form which sings to me as most poetic and congruent with my personality) is none other than Kukulkan. Would I give a Plummed Serpent my heart in Holy Sacrifice? Sure. Why not?

Is that what is recommended by Tonantzin? No... Not at all. In fact, true Guadalupanos know that Tonantzin came to Juan Diego to end human sacrifice. Are Tonantzin and La Santissima one in the same? Undoubtedly. Is la Santissima Kali? Undboutedly. Does prayer work? Undoubtedly.

Where does my Zen training come in to this whole picture?

Well, for one, a real Zen monk would not be worried about writing all this shit down in a blog. For another, Zen monks don't really smoke dope or eat Peyote. Finally, my buddy Buddha Bob, who I do consider a real Zen Monk told me that my thing was not Zen, but Shaman! Therefore, I consider myself a Sham-man, or better yet, a Troll Shaman, since my shamanism is mostly confined to Trolling around the Internet and smoking a whole lot of weed. Mushrooms, Peyote, Ayahuasca and acids are... for special occasions. But the bulk of the spiritual work is weed. Santa Maria Juana.

Anyhow.. Nuff said.