Makkuro's condition has become considerably worse. She hardly drinks water. As she can not save herself from this disease, I have entered a weird kind of limbo with her. She is literally Schrodinger's Cat out of the box, neither living nor dead, but somewhere in between. What breaks my heart most of all is that she purrs when I lie with her on the bed. She peed herself, and the smell is pretty awful, but I have decided to cover it up with pinoil instead of changing the sheets because she is still neither dead nor alive, and she is not about to leave my bed any time soon.
I had a series of visions where I ended her life myself to spare her suffering, and they were horrible. I can't bare to do that. I have done it before, with other cats, but not with Makkuro. She trusts me.
And yet, she does not eat. She hardly drinks water. She is wasting away, with leukemia eating her from the inside out. She is almost all bones now. I am taking her this morning to the Vet again. Having to dip into my credit card again. But there is nothing to be done. I can't stand to see her suffer.
Feline Leukemia is terribly infectious, and I'm pretty sure Lucy is also infected. But Lucy seems okay. Louis, the vet said taht somem cats reactdifferent to the condition. Lucy is just stronger.
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